Condo Association Idiots

So I've gotten 3 phone calls in 3 business days from my condo neighbor who apparently can't handle any situation on his own. A little history on our condo; while it was still in the development phase, one of the units was sold under a clouded title, and the "owner" of the unit has been trouble from day 1. The most recent issues are the loud parties until all hours of the morning plus the smell of weed coming from his unit. Anyway, a few weeks ago, we found graffiti on the side of our building, and my neighbor "John" has gone a little off the deep end about it, calling me at work to tell me things like “we saw a car out front of our building this morning. It was blocking one of the tenants in. The driver of the car was inside our building for FIVE MINUTES then left. I'm certain it was a drug deal.” Or, “did you see the white car parked outside of our building for about 2 weeks? Well it was there the same time the graffiti went up on the side of the building. This CAN’T be a coincidence…” His conclusions are somewhat comical, and they remind me of some of the dialog in those Christopher Guest movies. I think there's a good quote from "Waiting for Guffman" which illustrates my point:

"I've been coming to this circle for about five years, and measuring it. The diameter and the circumference are constantly changing, but the radius stays the same. Which brings me to the number 5. There are five letters in the word Blaine. Now, if you mix up the letters in the word Blaine, mix 'em around, eventually, you'll come up with Nebali. Nebali. The name of a planet in a galaxy way, way, way... way far away. And another thing. Once you go into that circle, the weather never changes. It is always 67 degrees with a 40% chance of rain."

That's just good humor. Anyway, this is the guy who first introduced himself to me as "Hi, I'm [John], I have a phD!" Well, John, I figured you'd be a little more competent. Stop calling me at work!